Well, PHMCThe Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission (PHMC) is the state agency that stewards the U.S. Brig Niagara and Erie Maritime Museum. The PHMC is responsible for the collect... has finally managed to get one of the Niagara jobs posted. And it’s a doozey!

Shipwright, Engineer, Able-Bodied Seafarer, Volunteer Wrangler, Project Planner… the list of duties seems to cross all departments without regard for practicality or feasibility. Come do it all! 

The job posting went live Tuesday, Feb 20th. It took PHMC two and a half months after sending the letter dismissing the entire FNL team from service on Dec 12, 2023, six weeks after Erie Maritime MuseumThe Erie Maritime Museum (EMM) is a cultural institution located in Erie, Pennsylvania, dedicated to preserving and showcasing the region's maritime heritage. Established in 1997, ... Site Administrator Jim HallJames E. Hall is the Site Administrator for the Erie Maritime Museum and a PHMC staff member. He replaced Walter Rybka in December of 2020. His background includes 13 years with th... said at their private volunteer information session on Jan 4th & 5th that the job postings were in process and would be ready soon. Moving at the speed of government…

But when they finally release something, boy, do they ever! See the full job posting here (be sure to click through to the position description, also). If it gets stealth-changed you can find the original here and the detailed description here. (Yup, we saved this one for posterity…)

PHMC has attempted to combine the duties of three professionals into a single position: a combination carpenter, engineer, and licensed able-bodied seaman (commonly referred to as an “AB”). Do you think they tripled the salary for this amazing human who’s supposed to accomplish all these amazing feats? Hmm…

Shipwright is a highly skilled & specialized profession. Go ahead and google “shipwright” (apparently PHMC didn’t bother to do so). To craft or repair a plank on Niagara’s hull, a shipwright takes a 20’+ board, cuts bevels onto all six sides where the profile varies across the entire length of it, steams it, and bends it into the specific curve of the hull and caulks it into its final watertight form. Geometry genius, combined with intense knowledge of the wood itself and its behaviors. Caulking alone (the act of stuffing absorptive materials between planks and decking) is so specialized that professionals are valued at $60/hour. (Watch an explanatory video of shipwrights replacing Niagara’s planks at shipyard.)

This isn’t enough to fill the day of a PHMC Shipwright, however. Right in the first paragraph of the Description of Work: “As Shipwright, you will plan and carry out routine maintenance and repairs on the vessels’ [sic] mechanical and electrical systems.” So in addition to maintaining the structure of the ship, our scrappy new employee must also maintain AC & DC electrical systems, ensure the bilge pumps are working to prevent flooding, care for all water systems (fresh, gray, and blackwater systems with their own fixtures & pumps), perform routine maintenance on the ship’s aging engines/generators, and who knows what else.

But wait there’s more! Some of the special things they have asked for on the main hiring page include:

• “Six months continuous service aboard a 250 ton auxiliary sail vessel maintaining the modern mechanical systems.” 
• “You must possess knowledge of seamanship at Able Bodied level.”  In their licensing process, the US Coast Guard completely separates deck (seafarers) and engineering disciplines. An AB is a level of seamanship that requires a lot of study and the ability to pass a licensure test. You may find someone who became an AB before they became an Engineer, and so they might have both. But there is no reason why the ship’s carpenter would need to know the proper daytime signaling of a ship at anchor, or how to navigate using charts, or life-saving safety protocols at sea, etc. 

Note: We’ve tucked some additional favorites from the Description of Duties at the bottom of this update.

On top of all that, this person is supposed to train and organize volunteers, maintain other ships within the museum fleet, perform various administrative support tasks, etc.

There seems to be no regard for the level of expertise, discipline, and dedication that each of these positions require. PHMC has decided that these jobs are so easy that they can all be consolidated and shouldered by one person. So who is this superhero? This paragon among the tall ship community? 

PHMC has asked for a unicorn. Earlier today, we asked some contacts in the tall ship industry and they could only think of one person in the entire American tall ships community who fit ALL of the qualifications requested. Remember, PHMC is not offering a unicorn’s salary for this. They are offering a shipwright’s salary. We expressed concerns that they didn’t know what they were doing. Now they’ve advertised a job that no one is qualified for and paid the same as someone fulfilling a fraction of the responsibilities.  

But what about that captain position? In the January private meeting with volunteers, PHMC promised to have a captain hired by April. We’ve heard from someone with PHMC that an offer was extended to a captain (outside of a normal public process) and was declined. We expect to finally see a job posting for that position soon (whatever “soon” means for the government timeline).  There’s only maybe 20 people in the country even qualified to sail Niagara (if we’re being generous) and they have yet to post the position.

What happens if we reach mid-summer and they still haven’t been able to attract a captain or shipwright? If they’ve gotten themselves in the hole on this already, what else don’t they know?

In our next update we’ll be reporting on some of the meetings we’ve had and information we’ve received, so stay tuned for that. But this job posting was too absurd not to be commented on immediately.

The volunteers expressed concern at the beginning of this change in operations, and we asked what it would look like for PHMC to run Niagara’s program. Looks like we’re starting to see our answers. And it’s not pretty.

If you know any sailing gods willing to work for peanuts, PHMC is hiring. And you can definitely trust them. They totally know what they are doing. They said so. They promise!

Don’t Give Up The Ship!

Katie Zawrotniak

Petition creator, fellow Niagara supporter

PS – The opening paragraph alone is well worth the visit the job position’s webpage. It’s like a parody of a bad corporate outreach joke. But… they aren’t joking. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen so many exclamation points.

PPS – PHMC’s HR sloppiness isn’t isolated. I’m still listed on their employee directory even though I haven’t held that position since March 2022, almost two full years ago. (I’m not just a volunteer, but also former Flagship Niagara League (FNL) staff. PHMC gave certain FNL office and ship staff state contractor email addresses, in addition to our regular FNL ones.) If they finally erase me after this petition update alerts them, there’s a saved version here.

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Addendum: More Absurdities

Additional favorites from the Description of Duties:

“Plans schedules and carries out large scale repair projects, including but not limited to repair and/or upgrade to powertrain system(s), electrical generators, storage batteries and charging system, fire pups, bilge pumps, fuel transfer pumps, sewage pumps, potable water pumps, domestic plumbing systems and small boat engines, removal, repair or replacement of deteriorated planking and frames, fabrication of new spars, construction and repair of gun carriages, deck and cabin furniture.

“Makes common repairs and plans maintenance for typical contemporary marine electrical and mechanical systems including but not limited to electrical generators, storage batteries and charging system, fire pumps, bilge pumps, fuel transfer pumps, sewage pumps, potable water pumps, domestic plumbing systems, and small boat engines.

“Makes common constructions and repairs involving scarf joints, mortise & tenon joints, dowel joints, Dutchmen repairs, plank spiling, general wood shaping and fitting, by use of hand and power tools to wooden spars, planks, cabinetry, furniture, beams, frames, fittings, etc.

“Sails as a crew member (Able Bodied, AB) onboard the Niagara, on a short-term intermittent basis as needed, and must be knowledgeable and capable of performing sailing crew member duties.”

Their list of duties goes on… These are just some favorites.