My name is Frankie Tracey.  I’m 17 years old and currently a tall ship deckhand. I started my career on tall ships on the US Brig Niagara. As you can probably tell by looking at my profile, I rarely ever post online. After reading the “Eulogy for Niagara” by Hope Collins, I feel that I must share my story and what the Niagara did for me. I apologize for how long this post will be, but if there ever is a time for me to be long winded, this feels like it.

I was sitting in math class, 5th period, waiting for the bell to ring and not doing any of my work. A very typical day for me. I was not a student who thrived in a classroom and not an employee who thrived in an office or typical workplace. I was in an incredibly low mental state and felt like there was no place in the world that was just right for me. My mom would dread bringing me to school. She said she’d “see the life drain from my eyes every day we pulled up”. I just thought that’s how life had to be.

Back to my math class. I was scrolling my computer doing anything but work when I scrolled upon a “Top 10 Tall Ships in America” article. I was confused and intrigued. I had no clue there were still ships out there, like the Niagara, that still existed, let alone sailed. I started scrolling through, my curiosity peaked now. “Constitution, Pride of Baltimore II, Schooner Adventure…”, and then I laid eyes on her. The US Brig Niagara was one of the most beautiful things I have bore witness to in my entire life. Immediately I needed to know more. This led me to the Flagship Niagara League’s website where I learned they did 2-week trainee programs. The bell rang to mark the end of the day and I sprinted home.

I showed my mom and talked her ear off about it as I went to gather all the money I could find to make this voyage happen. My mom said that it was the first time in years she had seen that child-like spark of pure joy and enthusiasm return to my eyes. That night I booked my voyage. Then came the hard part; waiting. I had to wait 5 months for my voyage, and in that time I obsessed myself with the ship and her story. I’d come to dinner talking my mom’s ear off about the Battle of Lake Erie. I watched every video on the FNL YouTube page multiple times over. I bought every bit of “Don’t Give Up The Ship” merchandise I possibly could, because this voyage was the only thing getting me through my days at school. Finally it was the day for me and my mom to head to Erie, PA.

We drove for 6 hours and I was singing shanties and reading history the entire way. As I pulled up to the Erie Maritime MuseumThe Erie Maritime Museum (EMM) is a cultural institution located in Erie, Pennsylvania, dedicated to preserving and showcasing the region's maritime heritage. Established in 1997, ... and first saw Niagara’s top masts peaking over the buildings, I was in true love. Little did I know that some of the best people I would meet in my entire life were right across the gate, standing on the beautiful deck of that ship. My mom dropped me off, we said our goodbyes and I took a seat to wait for the rest of the trainees to arrive.

I was incredibly nervous. I was not an outgoing person by any means. I was afraid of what people would think about the way I looked and the way I talked. I am a short, white boy with dreads and a nose ring. Instantly my fears and anxieties melted away when I talked to the first two people I met on that ship.

The first was Wyatt. He was touching up some paint on the topsides, sitting on the dock. He spotted me, walked over and welcomed me with the biggest smile that showed how excited he was to just to see another person as interested in these ships as him. In the ensuing days, Wyatt would soon become the older brother I never had and never knew I needed. The other person was Caroline. Caroline is a being of pure energy and enthusiasm, and this showed right away. They are similar in age and stature and personality to me and immediately we were best friends. To this day, Caroline is my #1 travel companion, fellow deckhand, mentor and true friend.

For sake of time I will not delve into the specifics of my program. For one reason, there are so many lasting memories that could have their own book written about them. But another reason is the fact that there are no words in any language that I could use to do justice to what my voyage on the Niagara was like. It was beyond magical and was one of the first times in my life I felt truly at peace with my day to day life. I learned how to feel confidant in my skills, and if I wasn’t confident, how I can improve them. I learned that even in challenge, there is a place to grow, thrive and enjoy the experience that life is throwing at me. I learned that the bond between crew and ship is stronger than any bond I’ve experienced before. I felt accepted.

Half way through my voyage I decided that this is what I want in life. I was given the opportunity to stay and work as an apprentice aboard and I knew I had to. I called my mom, fearful that she’d say no, but the response I got was exactly the opposite. “Frankie, I fully support this decision. I have never heard this kind of exhilaration in your voice, and I never want to hear it stop. If I never have to drop you at that school and see that beyond stagnant look in your eyes, my life’s work would be complete”.

Her response brought me to tears. I was so happy and I rushed to my Chief Mate to inform her of the news. I then immediately rushed to Caroline and Lucy and told them I was staying. Everything felt right.

Tragedy then struck.  Niagara’s starboard propeller had fallen off somewhere while we were returning from our voyage to Put-In-Bay, OH.  In the following days, the crew was informed that the FNL could no longer have a crew for Niagara. We all had to leave. There would be no sailing, no winter maintenance, no voyages, no more trainees, no more climbing aloft and no more dinners with the crew. Everyone was heartbroken. Some people went into denial, others anger and others a pure state of sadness. However, in this tough time, our crew was still a crew. We consoled each other and held each other and helped each other get through this. We discussed future plans over root beer floats all together at 11 o’clock at night. We watched movies and went to restaurants and played games to keep each other in high spirits, through this sorrow. We did this because although Niagara was non-operational, the crew was. The crew is Niagara. The spirit of Niagara lives inside each and every crew member who has been touched by her beckoning call. This spirit keeps us tied together as family and friends. It was the lowest blow to see our child ripped from our hands but it did not mean we would give up and cry, because the spirit of the Niagara persists in every one of her sailors.

In the following days and weeks, the crew started to disperse. Some back home and others to ships. Some to stay with the Niagara, and care for her in any way that they could. For me, I had no clue what to do. I didn’t know where to go or how to handle this. I had been on significantly less long than every other sailor aboard, but the grip the Niagara had on me was too strong to let go. It was then Caroline approached me. We talked and shared plans and eventually, through a series of very fortunate events, we both found our way to the Schooner Lynx. Caroline’s mom so happily drove us 13 hours to Portsmouth, NH where we both joined the Lynx, and are both still here today.

I am currently living the best life I can imagine. Surrounded by a crew I love and a captain that guides me in the right direction. While I am happy where I am, I can’t forget how much the Niagara and her crew did for me. Chief Mate Sam educated me on seamanship, and sail handling and safety aboard. 2nd Mate Brendan taught me the lines and how to safely handle every aspect of the rig. 3rd Mate Shane instructed me on how to be thorough and thoughtful while completing a safety check. My Bosun, Griffin, was not only one of the best teachers I’ve had, but also truly a great friend who did anything to ensure not only the safety, but the happiness of his crew. My AB, Jeremy, became one of my closest companions on board, and was truly a driving force in what made me love tall ships so much. The deckhands like Lucy and Belle all guided me, and taught me and made me one of their own. One man who did the most important thing for me was Captain William SabatiniFleet Captain William "Billy" Sabatini is the executive director and fleet captain of the Flagship Niagara League. Sabatini grew up in southeastern Massachusetts, on Cape Cod, and ..., who allowed me to stay aboard as an apprentice. Without this, I would’ve gone back home and went back to math class and would still be in that static state of nothingness. Above all of this, these people treated me with kindness, compassion and truly took me in. They became some of the closest family I have and every day I think about the everlasting impacts that these people have in my day to day life. To see the ship that meant more than the world to these people being pulled from their hands, truly and totally breaks me down.

There isn’t much I can do to fix the situation. It seems that there isn’t much anyone can do. But, Hope said it best: the best thing you can do right now is share your story. Share how much the Niagara means to you. Share the experiences you’ve had and the friends you’ve made. Turn to your crew and lift them up, stand together in this moment of darkness.

We, together, are not only a crew of friends and family, teachers and students. We, together are the Niagara. We are the ship. And we will not give up the ship.